Friday, February 21, 2014

How to know if it's 'growing pains' or is it 'just not right'?

Last year, I brought some people into my life.  It didn't feel 'right', but I know that as you move through a growth phase, it's kind of goes hand in hand with feelings of nervousness, being uncomfortable and general awkwardness.

What I know now, that I did not know then is that your gut telling you something isn't 'right' is a totally different feeling than nervousness, feeling uncomfortable and general awkwardness.

Here's how I know the difference now:
  1. If I find myself questioning the outcome, looking past the situation or circumstance to the results - it's growth related nerves etc.
  2. IF, however, I find myself questioning myself, the experience, the people, and instantly find myself altering something about ME to fit, THAT is my gut piping up to tell me, 'No way Jose.  Let it be.'

Here's an example of questioning the outcome:  Getting ready to give a speech.
Even the thought of that makes my stomach do flip-flops!
When I'm preparing for a presentation, speech, to teach a class or even run a small, intimate group workshop - my nerves are haywire!!  Why?  Because I want it all to go 100% smoothly.  I want the people to walk away transformed, enlightened, energized, and chomping at the bit to take action!

Yes, I'm also terrified that the stage will collapse, the mic won't work, the slides won't turn, my heel will break half way through and my fly will be down the whole time while I'm talking with spinach in my teeth - but I KNOW that's just nerves.

I'm not questioning myself internally, I'm questioning external components of the situation.

Here's an example of #2, questioning yourself: Signing a contract.
When I'm getting ready to do business with someone, there are tons of emotions flying around: excitement, nerves, anticipation, coupled with tons of energy!  Then there's that moment, before hands shake, before pen goes to paper, that you either move forward without hesitation, OR, there's a moment of pause.

That small moment can feel like a shiver going through you making you stop in your tracks - if even for an un-noticeable moment.  It can be a small voice popping up saying 'what if', a replay of a conversation you had with someone earlier sharing their 2 cents you chose not to fully hear at the time.  It's something coming to the surface from within you making you look inward, into yourself, making you question the decision as a whole.

And it's SMALL.  But it's that moment of pause that is NOT nerves, awkwardness or being uncomfortable - it's your GUT telling you, 'something just ain't right here'.
{Yes, you can tweet that!}

It's small, but remember, your gut is not necessarily trained to be loud yet.

So here's where the rubber meets the road.

For me, the good news is, I'm getting better at discerning the difference.  And even if I missed it initially, I'm getting better at recognizing it even after the fact and then taking action to make it 'feel right' again for me.

And the other side to this is that my GOALS, my reason WHY I need to continue to move forward on MY journey have become so intensified lately that I'm honestly 100% unapologetic about who doesn't make the cut in my journey.  So it's all good.  I'm not worried about hurting feelings.  I'm only concerned with what is going to 'feel right and best for me!

As I said in an earlier post, the one rule I set for myself when fully embracing this journey was "if it doesn't feel good, don't do it.'

What's an example of a time you've had that gut check?
Do you have any tips for knowing it's your gut vs nerves?

Share below!

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